Are you a vegan? If not, have you ever asked yourself what things vegans really complain about when they are together with others of their extraction? As a vegan myself, I thought it was time that someone went public with the private thoughts of many of us (vegans forgive me!).
1) Toilet Blues
While non-vegans often find it normal to check their mail or flip through a magazine when in the bathroom, vegans like me don’t have the same “luxury”! This is because the food we consume is so high in fiber that we hardly get any extra time in the toilet to do some reading. We also use more toilet paper than non-vegans!
2) No Second Helpings
Whenever we attend non-vegan majority gatherings where there is a family-style kind of food serving, vegan dishes are almost always among the most popular to everybody. This means that when we come back for a second or third serving of our favorite lasagna or the vegan brownies, we almost always find them invariably gone! Every place that I have gone for a party or some other event where food is served, I have always noticed that vegan food rarely lasts as long as the dairy or meat offerings. I therefore appeal to you that -- please -- bring a vegan dish to the next function you will be attending!
3) Stuck in the Middle
According to reputable statistical records, we vegans are generally more slender than our meat-eating counterparts. We therefore often find ourselves being designated as the back seat’s middle passenger whenever we ride in a car of five people. Although we do not mind much, we are appealing to our meat-eating friends that once in a while we would also like to ride shotgun. And to drivers out there, please dig out the middle seat-belt for us before we can get cheek to cheek with the other two passengers at the back.
4) Overwhelming Indecision
Whenever we go out buying milk, we vegans have too many options we can’t even make a decision. Imagine all these choices: almond, rice, soy, coconut, hemp, or even rice/soy milk combinations; plus we also have to choose if we have to go with chocolate, vanilla, original, no sugar added or enriched! So, whereas we are heart-broken when we hear of what cows and their babies have to undergo in order for you non-vegans to have your large variety of dairy products, we are also oftentimes overwhelmed and befuddled by the wide range of non-dairy milk types that we are sometimes not able to decide at all.
5) Hearing Confession
In our daily lives, we often come across people who feel obligated or even compelled to confess to us their last meal once they know that we are vegan. As weird as it may sound, we vegans are regularly thrust into having to take the role of confessor when friends and even total strangers confide in us how they “hardly ever consume red meat anymore”. Whereas we strive to be supportive of a move by non-vegan toward more conscious eating, our wish is that these people would be more imitating of our lifestyle rather than confess to us. We feel good when you non-vegans try to seek our approval and blessing because this shows that you guys think that we are on the right path. That is why we say: JOIN US!
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