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She Was Interesting. But She Wasn't a Vegetarian.
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She Was Interesting. But She Wasn't a Vegetarian.

I found her interesting. But she was not a vegetarian.

I am sure many a vegetarian lad or lass have found themselves in a similar situation. I am as liberal and tolerant as the next person, but I can’t seem to go beyond my dietary needs, or the eating habits of others. I have no problems trying something outside my comfort zone. Dating a meat eater couldn’t be that hard, could it?

I have to say from the outset, I have nothing against meat-eaters generally. But matters of the heart are different story. So, I shall now get into the story. I won’t use her real name – I will call her Pamela.  If you are an omnivore reading this post, I hope you have a thick skin.

Now, apparently Pamela knew me, but I didn’t know her. But I knew her late husband – we were old school friends. Two decades back, I went to his wedding, but had forgotten what his wife looked like.  A couple months ago, she showed up at my flat.

Among other things, I am a technician by trade. She needed something repaired, and off I went to her place to sort out her problem. After I was done, we got to talking about things. We had many things in common – especially the hard life. I was by no means magically attracted to her. I could see she also was dealing with some personal issues. Most of the time, I am not one of those guys who likes to rescue damsels in distress - psychological, emotional or otherwise. Normally that’s my cue to cut things short and run for the hills. This time I stuck around.

Having Pamela around was nice. I waffled on about things, and she listened patiently. Life can beat a man down, but a feminine touch makes things tolerable. Her body language gave me the impression she liked my company. That’s when I started thinking long term. She had two grown children, which was normally the first deal breaker for me. By now, I had done quite a lot of compromising.

I was over at her place on a Saturday and the inevitable happened. The topic of food came up. Put another way, she was cooking some meat dish for her two kids, and deal breaker two kicked in – she ate meat. I accepted she came with baggage. Yet, I was troubled that she gorged herself with dead animals. My feelings for her plummeted faster than a person jumping of a plane without a parachute.

I have sat at tables where people ate meat – I was not totally uncomfortable, it was not as if I would be seeing such eaters on a regular basis. So there was no problem. The situation with Pamela was different. There was a half-way good chance she could be the one. But deal breaker two was like a U-boat firing a torpedo at an Allied warship. My relationship was truly sunk, like the Allied warship at the bottom of the North Sea. I couldn’t get past the fact that she was not a vegetarian - no matter how hard I tried.

We have not seen each other for a while now, and hopefully never will. Her life is quite hectic, so hopefully she has forgotten about me. Finding non-meat eating women in my neck of the woods is like trying to find a needle in a wheat silo.

I know the saying that beggars can’t be choosers.

I am just also not that desperate to be in the company of omnivore woman... not yet anyway.

 

 

Picture: courtesy Flickr Commons

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  1. Support
    Support
    Thanks for the honesty, Vin! And good luck with the dating game!
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    1. Vin Chauhun
      Vin Chauhun
      Oh...many thanks :)
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  2. Veganara
    Veganara
    Voted. Thanks for sharing. This sounds like some of my experiences too. It doesn't altogether put me off if I meet a man and he is an omnivore, if he at least doesn't eat meat with every meal and is interested in finding out more about veganism. It's the ones who "can't live" without steak, bacon, etc, that send me running in the opposite direction! I just wondered, did you ever mention to this woman that you are veggie, to see if she might be open to going veggie herself? Sometimes you need to give people a chance, give them time to make the transition. Anyway, good luck with finding the right one!
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    1. Vin Chauhun
      Vin Chauhun
      Hi Veganara, Yep, she knows I am a vegetarian, and I know there is no way she would change to being a veggie. you probably know how I think about people becoming vegetarian. its either you got it in you to be one or your don't . Thanks for your comment :)
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  3. Kelly The Veganista
    Hey Vin, I used to be very much like I don't want to date a meat eater either but when I let that go what happened was I attracted men who ate meat but that ended up being very open to eating vegan. My bf was a meat eater, and a foodie, like myself, before we met, but now eats a vegan diet. Of course he says it really helps that to him I'm the most awesome vegan chef. He says he doesn't miss meat or dairy at all. So my best advice to you is to "allow" the "right" person to come into your life. And they may not initially be vegan. Namaste
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    1. Vin Chauhun
      Vin Chauhun
      Hi Kelly, As you say, I should allow the right person into my life....right now I am no hurry .....:)
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  4. Karin
    I could never be with anyone who wasn't vegan at this point. It is more than small things that don't mesh...this is a HUGE moral center and ones view of the value of another's life. I totally get it!
    Log in to reply.
    1. Vin Chauhun
      Vin Chauhun
      Hi Karin, Exactly, being a herbivore is what I am - its my foundation. In my experience, people are reluctant to change - and I have no intention of changing anyone.
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      1. beachgurl
        I just have a feeling she wasn't the one. It was too much work. If she was , you wouldn't have been able to let her go. When the "One" pops into your world, you are going to know it!
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        1. Vin Chauhun
          Vin Chauhun
          Hi beachgurl ...unfortunately the "one" did get away - but that is another story!! But as you say - I will know it :) :)
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          1. beachgurl
            Ah, I'm a romantic. You'll break my heart!
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            1. Veganara
              Veganara
              I tend to agree with you, beachgurl - if it's too much work getting together with someone, they are not right for you. I am not saying you shouldn't make big efforts to be with someone, if you really like them, but if you find that the effort all seems too much, you can't really be that keen on them! I have discovered that with Internet dating: I am having no luck with it so far, and I am on several different websites. Even on the veggie ones I am having no luck, which seems strange! It just seems very hard to get a date with anyone I am actually interested in! So I conclude that it's just not meant to be, if it is so hard, as you say. When the One comes along, hopefully things will fall into place more easily!
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              1. Vin Chauhun
                Vin Chauhun
                Ha!....and I don't like "complicated" relationships - I like things simple. i am on veggiecommunity -but i hardly visit the site - and mostly for Germans. Plus I think I may turning into a veggie supremacist ...lol. I find I am not attracted to non veggies that much.
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            2. Vin Chauhun
              Vin Chauhun
              :) I dunno if I am romantic , but I am sure I can learn to be :)
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