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10 Things Never To Say To A Vegan
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10 Things Never To Say To A Vegan

1. Don’t you miss eating bacon? It’s so good!

The only thing we like better than resisting eating animal products is being constantly reminded that other people love consuming them. You make your choices and we make ours. Let us live in peace!

 

2. Are you sure you are vegan? You don’t look like one…

Um, do vegans have a “look” I am not aware of? Vegans come in all shapes and sizes, just like normal people. In fact, we are normal people, thank you very much.

 

3. Your food is the food my food eats.

Thanks, Ron Swanson, but my food is the food I eat. Your food can eat whatever it wants, just know that if it’s eating any of my food, I am staying away from it.

 

4. Oh shoot! I put chicken broth in that! Just kidding!

Har-har. Never heard that one before. Hey, guess what! That vegan dish I brought was made with moldy vegetables. I find it actually adds to the flavor! Because I miss meat so much! Not.

 

5. Do you eat animal crackers?

No, we cannot tell the difference between actual animal flesh and crackers shaped like animals. Fun fact: Barnum’s animal crackers are in fact vegan.

 

6. I don’t understand why you eat meat substitutes if you don’t eat meat/like the taste of meat.

My dad would say this a lot. Sometimes, there are reasons to be a vegan other than simply disliking the taste of meat. Also, meat substitutes often don’t even taste like meat at all. I happen to like what these things taste like. It’s like a whole new food group.

 

7. Who cares how an animal is treated if it’s just going to die anyway?

Who cares how you are treated if you are going to die anyway? Too easy.

 

8. I couldn’t ever do that. I don’t like salads.

I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t eat salads all that much. There are so many other delicious vegan options! Find a vegan blog or something.

 

9. Should I not be eating this in front of you?

I don’t really mind what you eat that much, but now that you’ve pointed this out, the situation has become much more awkward. Also, if I cared and was preachy enough to stop you from eating something you are in the process of already eating, you should probably find a nicer friend.

 

10. Aren’t you worried that vegetables have feelings too?

Aren’t you worried you might hurt your bed if you jump on it too much?

 

...Any other ones you guys have heard?

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  1. The Flaming Vegan Crew
    The Flaming Vegan Crew
    Ugawa-- thanks for bringing good humor to the conversation!
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    1. Ugawa Sagara
      Ugawa Sagara
      Thanks! I really enjoy writing for you guys!
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  2. casualobserver
    I guess the vegans that this article is referring to are of a different ilk than the ones I have known throughout my life. If I had a penny for every time a vegan tried to make me feel bad about my dietary choices or act super self-righteous and holier than thou....I would probably have a lot of dollars to add to my piggy bank. I don't have a problem with the food choices that vegans make, but I do have a problem with their lack of respect for mine and their sense that there is only one absolute truth about food and that it is veganism. Furthermore, it seems hypocritical that point number 10 is even on this list of "stupid things to never say". Why do the feelings of plant life not matter? I have several plants around my home and, like animals, they have senses and needs and they respond positively to care and love and negatively to neglect or abuse. They are made up of cells and are living, breathing things. If the feelings of animals are so important, then why would you minimize the feelings of vegetables simply because they are your food? You begin to sound like a carnivore ;)
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    1. Ugawa Sagara
      Ugawa Sagara
      I do know vegans who, like you have experienced, feel they have all of the correct beliefs, but I am under the impression that it is up to the individual on how they decide to live their lives. If you want to be a carnivore, that is fine with me, and if you want to be a vegan, that is fine as well, just as long as you respect my choices. It is too bad that there are vegans who see only one truth in food, and it is also too bad that there are carnivores who act the same way. In my opinion, you should eat whatever makes you happy, and while you can promote your beliefs in a friendly manner, you should not make anyone else uncomfortable about their choices. There is no one food truth, just many that different people decide to buy into. As for item number 10, the way I've best heard this justified (the jumping on the bed was mostly for humor) is "Try pulling a carrot out of the ground and cutting it. Then, try taking a chicken and slitting it's throat. See if you feel the same." Obviously, this is a very extreme portrayal, but was effective enough for me to see the difference. But again, I respect everyone's individual choices, and thanks for the comment!
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      1. casualobserver
        Thanks for the response, Ugawa. I almost wish that the extremes on both sides of the spectrum (extreme carnivores and extreme vegans) did not exist, because I think somewhere in the middle there is room for understanding and learning. I have admittedly learned a lot from my vegan buddies despite the fact that they have never felt/acted like they could learn anything from me. Vegans are typically such great advocates, but If they really want to change the world, the best way to do it would be to seek first to understand the more moderate and conscious meat-eaters and then to encourage and support their meat-eating friends in finding humane, locally-sourced alternatives, reducing the amounts of meat consumed weekly, etc. I know lots of people (myself included) who will probably never give up meat, but who could easily be persuaded to reduce intake and only buy from humane-certified farms/butchers. I know this seems like a crazy thing to ask of someone who is anti-meat, but such actions would go MUCH farther to save animal lives and ensure humane practices continue and become more commonplace among farms around the world than simply telling people they are bad or wrong. (-:
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        1. Ugawa Sagara
          Ugawa Sagara
          I think that extreme carnivores and vegans are okay in my mind, as long as there is no extreme entitlement connected with either mindset. And I completely agree with you about a middle ground being the best for social change. Personally, I don't see any of these large changes happening too soon, so I choose my own eating preferences and stick to them, but if a plan were to be made to reinvent the food mindset, extreme veganism would definitely not be the way. I think it's because meat has been a part of so many cultures and just life in general for so many people, that they cannot possibly imagine a life without it, and they really shouldn't have to. Vast improvements could be made simply by having everyone more educated about where food is coming from. From my perspective, eating meat from animals who have been treated well, finding locally sourced foods, and using humane-certified food suppliers is just as good as giving up meat altogether--I just choose to do one over the other. In the end though, my issue is treatment of animals, so I guess others' issues may be different, but one doesn't necessarily have to give up meat to promote proper animal treatment.
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  3. JackieD
    #8, my reply is I'm not on a diet, I'm a vegan. Also the proverbial question.. how do you get protein?
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    1. Ugawa Sagara
      Ugawa Sagara
      Haha, I like that answer. And I forgot the protein question!
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  4. BuddhasDelight
    BuddhasDelight
    i love this article~ lol! thank you for posting. too funny! so many i have heard too... just great. :) easy vote. too easy!
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    1. Ugawa Sagara
      Ugawa Sagara
      Thanks! I had a lot of fun writing this list!
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